What is surface conflict, jagged peaks of icebergs facing off with each other,
beneath may be joined when we have eyes to see.
Tilden Edwards
One of the keys to conflict resolution, especially in a complex situation, is the identification of the interests of each party. Shifting from positions to interests is crucial for working toward creative solutions that will work for each person in the conflict.
POSITION:
A person’s position is her/his solution to the issue.
The reason people are in conflict is because the positions they hold address only their own needs.
People can get locked into their positions, which is often referred to as “becoming positional.” Common motives for becoming positional are the desire to be taken seriously, fear, revenge, and expectations. Becoming positional can also be our historical pattern of reacting to conflict. In making the shift from positions to interests, it may be necessary to first acknowledge the position and then address the underlying issues.
ISSUE (topic) OF CONCERN:
The issue is the general topic of the disagreement. It is helpful to name the issue in language that both parties acknowledge is the issue prior to probing for interests. This usually enables a more efficient identification of the underlying interests. If you do not identify the issues, you run the risk of receiving justifications for the other party’s position instead of their deeper interests.
INTEREST:
Interests are the underlying wants, needs, fears, hopes, and/or concerns that motivate us to hold our positions. Interests reflect and are shaped by our values and priorities.
Discovering and stating interests allows each person in a conflict to understand what will be needed to create a mutually acceptable and lasting resolution. When people are able to express their interests they also may discover that they share many more values and concerns than they assumed and are subsequently less likely to perceive one another in purely adversarial terms.
Basic human interests, which often come up in disputes, are the need for power, approval, justice, inclusion, identity, and security.
TIP: To discover interests it is helpful to use open-ended questions to seek to identify the issue of concern and then to understand the particular interests that make this issue important.
When either a perspective check reveals a disagreement or when several crunch experiences have already occurred, a longer and more in-depth problem-solving conversation is usually required for people to be able to recover from the past and to create clear and shared expectations on how they will interact with each other in the future. While appearing simple at the surface, it is important not to underestimate the difficulty of effectively managing a problem-solving conversation when there has been an accumulation of negative history between the parties.
A problem-solving process can be initiated either from the “pinch” after a perspective check has revealed a disagreement, or after a “crunch” where a longer conversation will be required to resolve outstanding issues(s) and/or unpack a number of preceding events.
A PROBLEM SOLVING PROCESS: SUMMARY
STEP 1. REFLECTION AND CENTERING
Step back and reflect on the situation.
Consider your own intention, interests and hopes for the conversation.
STEP 2. SETTING THE TONE
Invite the other person to a conversation.
Be clear what it is that you want to talk about.
State your intention for a positive resolution.
STEP 3. SHARING PERSPECTIVES
Ask the other person to describe the situation from her/his perspective.
Briefly paraphrase what you have heard, the facts and, if overt, the feelings. Ask for clarification if necessary. Continue to ask and summarize until there is nothing else.
Acknowledge your responsibility.
Describe your perspective of the situation, including both what your concerns are and, if appropriate, how you feel about the situation. Be specific.
STEP 4. BUILDING UNDERSTANDING (Addressing Issues)
List the issues that have to be addressed.
Discuss one issue at a time. For each issue:
Check out assumptions (intent>action>effect)
Explore interests
STEP 5. CLOSURE AND AGREEMENTS
Generate options for each issue.
Work out solutions that both people can agree to.
Summarize and clarify agreement.
Determine the agreement specifics.
See Chapters 9 and 10 of Miller, et al, Connecting with Self and Others.